This is Red Flag #2: He Talks About His Ex Listening to your date talk about his ex is not only annoying, it’s an ironclad sign he isn’t over his marriage yet.It doesn’t matter if his comments are critical, complimentary, or just factual. A man who talks about his ex may only be grieving his marriage, but it’s also possible he’s grieving the ex herself (which means there’s no room for YOU).Divorces, like men, come in all shapes, sizes, and situations.Sometimes there are amicable divorces; sometimes there are epic divorces that last years and years with lots of “collateral damage.” But if you’re dating recreationally and not considering him as a long-term partner, then these questions might not matter as much, since you’re not concerned with long-term compatibility.
You probably have a million questions on your mind. With that said, if you meet someone you’re really attracted to, but the ink on his divorce papers hasn’t yet had time to dry, you are going to need to approach some things differently if you want to minimize the risk of getting your heart broken.
But if you are considering him as possible life-partner, it’s good to know what you’re getting into, so you can decide, very consciously, whether you want to wade into deeper levels of commitment with him.
Here are some questions to consider: Did he leave Was there infidelity? It’s good to know why they decided to split up and how the split went.
You had too much going on during your divorce to possibly consider dating. This same script, I’m reminded, played out in the life of one of my favorite clients who fell in love with a separated man.
Therefore, you seem to think all men should feel the same way. But you are correct in proceeding with a sense of caution. Not because he listed himself as divorced but is really separated. He gave a lot to her during their time together, but, when it got right down to it, he really needed to sow his oats for awhile.